


Sit Awhile With Me

by shanahane



Series: The world where Bruce went to therapy [6]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Teen Titans - All Media Types, Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Age Changes, Batbrothers (DCU), Batfamily (DCU), Batkids Age Reversal, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Bruce went to therapy instead of becoming Batman, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Drama, Family, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Dick Grayson, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Temporary Character Death, alternative universe - no capes, no beta we die like jason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29606661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shanahane/pseuds/shanahane
Summary: There are a few things in his life that Dick is sure of:1) Alfred is the best cook in the world2) His brothers don't always get along with each other3) His brothers will drop everything if he ever needs them
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson/Wally West, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne
Series: The world where Bruce went to therapy [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2096913
Comments: 16
Kudos: 241





	Sit Awhile With Me

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS FOR:  
> Language  
> Broken bone injury  
> Mentions of a canonical temporary character death
> 
> This story was suggested and inspired by: lore99rusherforever - Sorry it took me so long, I hope you like it.

_When I am down and oh, my soul so weary  
When troubles come and my heart burdened be  
Then I am still and wait here in the silence  
Until you come and sit awhile with me _

* * *

It’s a bad break. 

Dick knows it the second he hears the deafening crack and he knows when the pain hits him a moment later. 

“...no. No, no…! HELP! Br - Bruce! Alfred! BRUUUCE!”

Bruce bursts into the gym a few seconds later, looking alarmed. His eyes widen at the sight of Dick and his arm which is bent at an odd - impossible - angle. 

“I - I fell,” Dick sobs. “I fell, Bruce. It’s bad, it’s bad, I…” 

“Did you hit your head?” Bruce asks urgently. 

“No. No, but Bruce, my a-arm…” 

“I know. I’ll call Leslie. Now, I’ll help you up, okay? That’s it. Easy does it.” 

Dick tries his best to focus on how calm Bruce sounds while his own mind is already spiraling to panic because he knows it’s a bad break. 

He knows it as Bruce rushes him to the hospital and he knows before Leslie says it. 

It’s a bad break, and Dick’s season - maybe even his career - is over before it really even began. 

“It’s okay,” Bruce murmurs into his ear as Dick cries into his chest. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” 

It’s not, but Dick knows Bruce doesn’t know what else to say. 

The drive home feels endless and yet, Dick blinks, and suddenly Bruce is helping him out of the car. Dick lets himself be guided, too numb to put thought into anything, even walking. 

“Hey. Al told me what happened. What did Leslie say?” 

Dick hears Jason but doesn’t look up from the floor. Bruce hugs him closer to his side. “It’s bad,” Bruce says and Dick sees his tears fall before he feels them. 

“Shit. Shit, Dick, I’m sorry.” 

Dick shudders and takes a step, then another, and then rushes upstairs as fast as he can with his injured arm. He’s sobbing by the time he collapses onto the floor next to his bed. 

He’s not sure how long they allow him to be alone. His sobs have calmed down to small hiccups when Damian appears by his side. He doesn’t offer words of comfort but gives Dick a glass of water. 

“You need to drink,” he says when Dick turns his head away. 

“I feel sick.” 

“That’s why you need to drink.” 

Reluctantly, Dick takes the glass with his good hand and takes a sip. 

“More. Slowly,” Damian orders but his tone lacks its usual edge. Dick manages a couple more small gulps before putting the glass on the floor. 

“B called you?” 

“Yes.” 

“He - he told you? What Leslie said?” 

“You might not compete again.” 

Dick’s breath hitches in his throat. “What am I gonna do?” he asks. 

“You need to heal first. Then you can start asking those questions.” Damian says. 

“But that’s the point!” Dick snaps. “I might not heal! Not properly! Not enough!” 

“Might,” Damian repeats. 

“She said…” 

“That it’s 50:50. You act as if she told you your arm needs to be amputated.” 

“If it doesn’t heal properly then she might as well,” Dick mumbled. 

“That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?” 

Dick looks up to see Jason and Tim at the door. They have various snacks that Dick recognizes as Alfred’s homemade comfort food as well as steaming cups of hot chocolate. 

“I mean,” Jason continues as they step into the room. “Lucius could probably design you the coolest prosthetic arm ever but wouldn’t you still rather keep your own, even if you can’t use it to do gymnastics? It might be a while before they can make a fake arm that can give Damian the middle finger when he’s being an asshole.”

“Hilarious,” Damian retorts dryly, even as the corner of Dick’s mouth twitches. 

“I’m sure what Jason means to say is that regardless of what happens, we’re here for you. Okay? We’ll help you figure out what to do next if the surgery doesn’t go well,” Tim says. 

“But I can’t do anything else,” Dick whines. 

“What the hell are you talking about? You’re only 13! You’re already pretty much the smartest guy I know, plus you have plenty of time to learn about a zillion new skills before you actually have to decide what you want to do,” Jason says. 

Dick shrugs, miserable. “It’s just… It’s all I _want_ to do.”

“We know,” Jason sighs. “But - and I can’t believe I’m saying this - Damian’s _right_.” He shudders. “There’s a pretty good chance you’re going to be fine. Don’t bury all hope just yet.” 

“Wow, that must have really hurt you to admit,” Tim snorts.

“Don’t say I never did anything for you,” Jason tells Dick, who now has a small but genuine smile on his face. 

Damian merely rolls his eyes. “Tt. As if it’s not established that I am the one with the best advice.” 

“You once told me the best way to win someone’s heart is to cut it out with a knife!” Tim exclaims.

“How was I supposed to know you meant romantically?” 

“I was 12! In what situation would I need to win someone’s actual, physical heart?” 

“Well, from the top of my head…” 

Damian pauses when Dick giggles. It’s still quiet and wet and nothing like his usual, hysterical laughter but it’s a huge step forward in a very short time. A few hours ago, Dick had been certain he’d _never laugh ever again_. 

“Thanks, guys,” he says. 

“Anytime, kiddo,” Jason says. “Now, let us ruin our appetite, shall we? Since for once, we have permission.” 

The surgery goes well, which elevates Dick’s mood to heights that take him through the time that his arm is in a cast.

It’s when the cast comes off that he needs distraction because according to Leslie: “No cast does not equal gymnastics just yet” and boy does that make Dick feel like he’s standing on the edge. 

“But I’m fine!” he whines to Bruce three days after his arm has officially become cast-free. 

“Yes, you are, and in order to remain fine, you need to stay off the equipment,” Bruce tells him and it’s clear his patience is running thin. 

“Ugh!” 

“Dick, you’ll be vaulting through air soon enough but if you want to… Hey. Hey, chum?”

Because Dick is crying now and he’s embarrassed about it but he can’t help himself. He’s frustrated and bored and scared that by the time he’s able to compete again, he can’t catch up to the others anymore. 

He says all this out loud to Bruce who doesn’t quite know how to reply as he can’t really relate to what it feels like to have his future career in jeopardy. 

“We should go somewhere.” 

Dick and Bruce both turn to see Tim in the doorway. He’s carrying a duffle that suggests he’s planning to stay at the manor for a while, at least. 

“What do you mean?” Bruce asks. 

“A vacation, B. School’s out in a few weeks, right? Let’s just all go somewhere so Dick can heal without being constantly reminded that he can’t jump back onto the bars yet,” Tim says. 

“You assume I can leave work on a whim?” Damian asks as he comes in, too, and Dick blinks because when did the two of them even arrive? 

“Well, yeah?” Tim says with a shrug. “This is why we have very capable people working for us. So that we can go on vacation sometimes.” 

“You don’t have to,” Dick starts to protest but Jason cuts it short by announcing:

“Hells yeah we have to!” as he runs into the room in only a bathrobe. “Miami Beach, here I come!” 

“We will _not_ be going to Miami,” Damian says. 

“Disneyland?” 

“No.” 

“Bali?” 

“ _No_.”

“Hawa…?” 

“How about we let Dick decide?” Tim interjects. 

“We - we are really doing this?” Dick asks and looks at Bruce who is pinching the bridge of his nose. “Bruce?” 

Bruce sighs. “I guess we are.” 

“Awesome!” Jason cheers. “Dick, do not let Damian fool you into thinking this trip has to be ‘intellectually challenging’. Okay? Don’t let any outside forces influence you.” 

He says it while tracing a Mickey Mouse logo in the air which causes Damian to give him a slap in the back of his head. 

They end up spending four weeks on Route 66 and if his brothers only refrain themselves from killing each other to keep Dick happy, Dick doesn’t care, because he knows they are not good enough actors to fake the fun they are actually having. 

And by the time they come home, Dick’s allowed to start light training again. 

\--

“Dick.” 

“Hnnrghhh…” 

“Dick! Come on, wake up!” 

“Wha…? Jason?” Dick says - groans, really - as he struggles to open his eyes. “What are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night!” 

His brother grins down at him. “Happy birthday!” 

If he wasn’t so tired and confused, Dick would laugh. Now, he just manages: “What?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s like quarter past midnight so it’s not _officially_ your birthday anymore but what kind of brother would I be if I didn’t _officially_ congratulate you?” Jason says, still grinning. 

“You texted me,” Dick replies. 

“I’m getting the feeling you are not happy to see me.” 

Jason’s tone is joking but Dick sits up anyway and attempts to look more present. He yawns and rubs his eyes, shivers. “When did you get home?” he asks. 

“About 5 minutes ago. I’m sorry I missed the party,” Jason replies. 

“It’s not your fault the flight was delayed.” 

“Maybe not, but I still felt bad,” Jason says, hand on his heart. 

“So you decided to wake me up in the middle of the night?” 

“Man, you’re really hung up on that. I brought snacks, you ungrateful gremlin!” Jason huffs. “I at least preferred the nighttime when I was your age.”

“I do occasionally have to sleep,” Dick says. “At least Bruce says so. But I guess I could stay up a couple of hours since you brought snacks,” he continues. 

“Awesome! Now, please know that I am aware of the risk I am taking by bringing these abominations into the manor so do appreciate my courage and brotherly affection,” Jason says as he dumps the contents of his backpack on Dick’s bed. It’s true that the chips and candy that fall out are on Alfred’s list of forbidden goods but Dick doubts he would forbid such items on an occasion as important as Dick’s 14th birthday. 

He doesn’t say that. Instead, he says: “Thank you for risking your life,” as he tears open a bag of range flavored chips. 

“You are very welcome,” Jason says. “So, how was the party?” 

Dick shrugs. “It was nice. Alfred made pizza. We played Seven Minutes in Heaven.” 

“Ooooh, who did you kiss?” 

“Barbara.”  
  
Jason almost falls off the bed. “What? For reals? Dude, I was joking!” His grin, if possible, widens. “How was it?”

Dick shrugs again. “It was… good.” 

“Just good? Dick, you’ve been pining after her for a while. I thought you’d be over the moon.”

“Yeah. Me, too.” 

Jason frowns. “You okay, dude?” 

“I think I’m gay.” 

“Oh!” 

The silence that follows stretches to almost uncomfortable. Dick’s still sleep-muddled mind is quite slow to realize what he just blurted out loud and the more aware he becomes, the faster his heart beats. 

Finally, Jason says: “Okay.” 

“Okay?” Dick repeats and the word is drowned in relief.

“Yeah, of course, it’s okay. I’m just… surprised,” Jason admits. “All the girls seem to just _love_ you. I sort of thought you loved them, too.” 

“I sort of thought so, too,” Dick says quietly. “But then I had an actual, real, crush on someone - a boy - and I realized how different it felt.” 

“Who is it?” Jason asks. Dick blushes. “Roy. I knew it.” 

“What? No!”

“What do you mean, what? Even straight boys have crushes on Roy!” 

“You mean you?” 

“Who says I’m straight?” 

Dick opens his mouth but decides 1) it's too late (or too early) for this conversation and 2) two people coming out in the middle of the night is too overwhelming and 3) Jason doesn’t seem like he’s expecting to have a heart to heart about his sort-of confession.

Finally, Dick just says: “Well, I don’t.”

“Who the… Ah. I’m an idiot,” Jason chuckles. “It’s Wally.” 

Dick’s cheeks are on fire now, he’s sure. “...yeah.” 

“Have you told anyone else?” Jason asks. 

“About Wally? Or the… gay thing?” 

“Either.” 

“No,” Dick sighs. 

“Really? I figured you’d tell the De… Damian... at least,” Jason says, surprised. Dick shrugs and picks up a gummy worm to avoid answering. “No one’s going to care,” Jason says. “You know that, right?” 

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Dick says. “It’s just… I haven’t… known? That long myself, either. I think I need a little more time? Maybe? I don’t know.” 

“Hey, no pressure. You decide when you’re ready, no one else,” Jason says. 

“You sound weirdly mature.” 

“It was bound to happen one day.” 

“I’m going to throw you under the bus when Alfred realizes I haven’t slept at all due to a sugar high.” 

“Of course you will. I wouldn’t expect anyone else from a little brother of mine,” Jason laughs. 

“Good,” Dick replies and empties an entire mini-bag of M&Ms into his mouth. “Tell me about your trip?” 

When Dick does come out to the rest of the family, it’s not necessarily a happy occasion. Not because his family reveals themselves to be bigoted conservatives but because Dick is 14 and the fact that his crush starts dating someone else is the _end of the world_ almost to the same scale as his nearly career-ending injury.

Except this time he’s not sad, he’s angry. And it comes out as slammed doors and stomping and general moodiness, to which Bruce finally comments when Dick snaps at Alfred during dinner. 

“Dick!” Bruce exclaims and to Dick’s credit, he immediately mumbles a sincere ‘I’m sorry, Al’ without being told. “What is going on with you lately? Has something happened?” 

“No,” Dick denies quietly. 

“Then what? You’ve been acting weird for a few days now. Is it school trouble?” 

Dick shakes his head and pokes his food. 

“Are you having trouble with one of your friends?” Bruce asks. Dick flinches and sees comprehension dawn on Jason’s face. “So that’s it? Did you have a fight with someone?” 

“Not exactly.” 

“Dick, you can talk to us, it’s not…” 

“I like Wally,” Dick blurts out. “As in… Well. You know.” He shrugs and his eyes burn and he feels like a baby for being upset about this. 

Bruce looks surprised but definitely not upset. “Right. And that’s…” 

“And as of last weekend, he’s dating Artemis.” 

“Ah.” 

A short, awkward silence descends over the table. Then, Tim says: “That’s rough, buddy,” to which Jason replies: “An Avatar reference? Really?” 

“Why would Timothy reference that abomination?” Damian asks, frowning. 

“Not _that_ Avatar,” Jason says. “The good one.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tim says. 

“Wait, what?” 

“Boys!” from Bruce silences what would definitely develop into a full-blown argument. To Dick, he says: “I’m proud of you, chum. And I’m sorry about Wally.” 

“Thanks,” Dick says. 

“I agree with father, Richard. Wallace might not be my… ideal idea of a partner for you but I know you’re fond of him and I hope he comes to his senses,” Damian says. 

“He is in his senses,” Dick says. “Artemis is cool and smart and pretty. It’s no wonder he likes her.” 

“Well, for your sake, I hope they have a mutually decided break-up and he realizes you were his true love all along,” Jason says. 

“As if.”

“Hey,” Jason said and jabs Dick with his elbow. “You never know.” 

Dick does know, but he appreciates it none-the-less. 

\--

“Well, FUCK you!” 

Dick’s concentration wavers as his final words to Bruce hit him, _again_. He knows he’s in the right, and yet it’s his own words and Bruce’s stunned face that have kept him up at night over the last 8 days. 

He’s reached a point that this whole thing is affecting his gymnastics performance, which is probably why Wally, who has been glued to his side all week, tells him to ‘stop’ and ‘let’s go home’. 

Dick sighs but doesn’t argue and goes to change. His phone informs him of a new missed call and several messages that he ignores out of sheer stubbornness and slight fear of what the messages would say. 

Considering how Dick left things, he can’t imagine Bruce would have anything nice to say. 

Wally, who’s able to read Dick like a book and usually knows exactly the sort of support he needs, chatters on about mindless topics as they walk home hand in hand. Dick listens because it keeps his mind off other things. The only other thing that usually has the same effect is exercise and Dick knows he’s reaching a breaking point because that isn’t working anymore. 

“Your family’s cars look really out of place here.” 

“Huh?” 

Sure enough, there’s a bright red Tesla in front of their apartment building. For a split second, Dick panics that it’s Bruce because he’s not prepared for this, but then Damian steps out, and Dick relaxes. 

He’s also, weirdly, disappointed. 

Wordlessly, he nods Damian to follow them inside. Once there, Wally excuses himself to a shower while Dick heads for the pantry and takes out a box of cereal. Damian doesn’t say anything, not until the two of them have settled into the sorry excuse of a balcony that Dick and Wally have tried to make a comfortable little nook. 

“We’ve never fought before,” is what Dick says after a short while of increasingly awkward silence.

“Hm.” 

“I mean, we have. Just… Not like this. He was so… Angry.” 

“I think Father…”

“If you came here just to take his side, you can leave,” Dick cuts Damian off. He puts a spoonful of already rather soggy cereal into his mouth, wondering when that became an acceptable dinner. 

“I’m not taking sides,” Damian says. “I was going to say that I think Father _thinks_ he’s angry but is simply worried. Once he removes his head from his behind, I’m sure he’ll realize that.” 

“Why would he be worried? I have everything figured out!” Dick exclaims. “I didn’t drop out without a plan but he never even gave me a chance to explain! He’s too damn stubborn and proud to realize he might not always be right.” 

“You are the youngest, Richard. Admitting that you might be able to make your own decision will mean you have grown up.” 

“Being scared of being an empty nester is no excuse to blow up on me when _I_ make a decision about _my_ future!” 

“True. But like I said, I’m pretty sure Father is simply worried. The value of education has been hammered into his family for generations, so I think he doesn’t understand those who choose to not pursue it. You can’t be a professional athlete forever and he worries about what happens once your career ends. He sees education as one of the biggest assets in one’s life,” Damian says. 

“I’m sure it is to those who want it but I know what I want to do once I can’t compete with the best anymore and it doesn’t include sitting in stuffy rooms for 8 hours a day and then 8 more completing essays and stuff,” Dick huffs. “I did that long enough.” 

“Once Father has cooled down, he’ll listen to you,” Damian says. 

“And when is that going to be?” 

“He’ll realize the error of his ways soon enough if he hasn’t already. One of Father’s many faults is that he is not able to stay mad for long.” 

“How is that a fault?” Dick asks. 

“There have been times when your two other brothers would have deserved longer punishments,” Damian replies. “But Father is soft and quite vulnerable to what I think is called ‘puppy eyes’.” 

“Well, I don’t deserve to be punished at all,” Dick says. “I’m sorry I’m not living up to the ‘Wayne Standards’ but I’m not going to crawl back to him with puppy eyes. Or any eyes. _He’s_ the one who needs to apologize.”

“I agree. One of Father’s better qualities is that he can identify his mistakes and own up to them. Once he’s calmed down, at least.” 

“What if he doesn’t, though?” Dick asks. “Calm down, I mean.” 

“He will.” 

“But I told you, we haven’t fought like this before! I… I was angry, too, I still am but I… I want us to get over it, you know? What if he doesn’t? What if he doesn’t want me around anymore? What if he’s already packing all my things and turning my room into a gym?” 

Dick’s sure that his uncertainty is plain in his voice but doesn’t try to mask it. He sighs and puts the now rather disgusting bowl of cereal down. Damian wrinkles his nose at it but doesn’t comment. 

“There is no universe in which Father would want you out of his life completely,” Damian says. There’s rare sincerity in his voice. 

“I’m sure there is,” Dick sort of chuckles. 

“Well, in this universe that is not a possibility.” 

“You’re sure?” 

“Abso…” 

Damian is interrupted by the sound of his phone. Dick sees the caller ID when Damian takes the phone out of his pocket and his stomach does that annoying lurch that means he’s more nervous than he even realizes himself. 

“Hello, Father,” Damian greets Bruce. Dick bites his lip. “Yes, I am with him. -- Hold on.” He mutes the call and turns to Dick. “He tried to call you.” 

“I’m sure he did.”

“He wants to talk to you.” 

“Well, duh.”

But this time, Dick considers it. His hesitation must have shown on his face because Damian continues to say: “He sounds calm enough. But I can tell him no.” 

“Not on the phone,” Dick finally replies. “Can he do lunch tomorrow?” 

Damian unmutes the phone to ask Bruce. He gives Dick a little nod after receiving the answer and ends the call with his simple ‘goodbye’. “He’ll meet you at the Diner right by…” 

“The ice cream place,” Dick finishes. “I guess he does want to apologize. If he was still angry, he’d force me to one of those salad bars.” 

“True.” 

“...Damian?” 

“Yes?” 

“Could you come, too?” 

“Do they have vegan options?” 

Dick knows Damian would come anyway, just because Dick asked, but his brother is not one to simply say yes.

\--

Dick doesn’t know who he should call first. 

Barry, probably. Or Iris. 

His hands start shaking at the mere thought of saying the words out loud. 

The apartment is silent but the ringing in Dick’s ears makes it the loudest silence he’s ever experienced. He clutches his phone, his stomach in knots, barely able to breathe. His dinner is unfinished on the coffee table and the DVD menu keeps playing on loop on the TV. 

He has no idea how long he’s been sitting there. No idea how long it’s been since his world fell apart. It could have been minutes or hours. And he still doesn’t know who to call first. 

Something inside him makes the decision before he can quite comprehend it. His fingers move on the phone as he sends a single text, not to one but four people. 

_Wally’s dead._

His phone blows up. 

It starts ringing almost immediately. He doesn’t pick up. He gets a text, and another. He doesn’t reply. The phone starts ringing again but he doesn’t even bother to check who is calling. 

He closes his eyes. 

Maybe this is a nightmare. 

“Dick!” The pounding on his door brings him back to reality. “Dick, let me in or I’m kicking the door open!” 

Dick doesn’t get up. He knows Jason will make good on his promise so why bother. 

“DICK! I SWEAR TO GOD, I… No, I will NOT shut up! DICK! YOU HAVE THREE SEC…” 

For a moment, Dick wonders if Jason just left. Then, his door clicks open and that, Dick’s clouded mind manages to realize, means that Bruce is here. 

For some reason, Bruce is the only one with a spare key. 

Huh. 

Inconvenient. 

“Dick? Dickie, hey…” 

Dick blinks and Jason is there. 

“I…” 

What? 

_What?_

He what? 

An undetermined amount of time later, he’s sitting in the back of Bruce’s car with Jason. He’s not sure if he’s actually relieved to leave ‘all things Wally’ behind but he didn’t - doesn’t - have the mind to argue. At some point, he remembers that it’s Tuesday which means Bruce and Jason should both be at work. 

As should Tim and Damian and yet they are both waiting at the Manor. 

Tim’s been crying. It makes sense, he’s good friends with Bart. Bart who, like Barry and Iris, _doesn’t know yet._

“I - I have to call…” 

“I’ll handle it,” Bruce tells him gently. 

“You don’t know what happened.” 

“Tell me?” 

And somehow those two simple words prompt Dick to basically repeat the phone call he received from Wally’s supervisor a few hours ago, except his tale is interrupted by sobs and hiccups and pauses to desperately suck in oxygen when breathing becomes too hard. He tells his family what they already knew, that Wally was on a research mission in the Arctic “b-because he’s a goddamn _genius_ ” and how he and his group was surprised by a snowstorm and got separated and how for some reason his beacon wasn’t working and how it’s now been four days… 

“He’s been dead for four fucking days and I didn’t… I… didn’t _know_! I’ve been… living, just living, and he… he…” 

...and no one can survive a day in those conditions, let alone four. 

“Fuck…” is all Jason says when Dick finishes his story. Damian has guided Dick’s head between his knees and his rubbing his back to keep him from passing out. Tim’s crying again, silently, kneeling in front of Dick with his hands squeezing Dick’s knees. 

It’s also Tim who sees it first. 

“...Dick?”

Dick lifts his head and sees that Tim is staring at his left hand. 

He sniffs. “Oh. Right. Yeah.”

Wally’s been dead for four days and three hours ago, Dick still thought they were getting married. 

“He - he asked right before… he left,” Dick hiccups. “We were gonna tell everyone when…”

 _He returned._

“ _Fuck_ ,” Jason says again. 

Tim gets up only to collapse onto the nearest armchair and bury his face in his hands. Besides Dick, Tim is the most openly emotionally one of the whole bunch that makes up ‘The Waynes’ but even so, seeing him as upset as he is now makes the situation all the more real for Dick, and the knife that’s been stuck in his gut ever since the phone call _twists._

Bruce takes Tim’s place on the floor and Dick doesn’t need a more verbal invitation to fall into his arms like the 8-year-old fresh orphan he once was. His whole body shakes as a new set of sobs takes over. And unlike all those years ago, Bruce doesn’t say it’s okay just to say something. 

Not much else is said in quite a while. At some point, Bruce helps Dick back to a sitting position and guides him to lean against Damian. 

“I’m going to call Barry,” he says, his voice tight. 

“I can certainly do that, sir,” Alfred, who walks in with cups of tea, says. 

“Thank you, Alfred. But they should hear it from a friend,” Bruce replies. He leans down to kiss the crown of Dick’s head - which makes Dick feel years younger than he is - and says: “I’ll be right back, chum,” before going to his study and shutting the door. 

Alfred sets the tray of tea onto the coffee table. “I am so sorry, young sir,” he says before going back to the kitchen where he will no doubt make a ridiculous amount of food that can be stored easily. He does it whenever it is clear that his boys will only eat when they are about to pass out rather than when they actually have an appetite. 

Damian turns on the TV and Dick is grateful, because it means no one expects him to talk until he wants to. Had he been able to actually register anything, he’d be confused as to why, when the TV turns on, the channel is automatically Nickelodeon and disappointed that The Great Divide* is on _again_ because nothing changes in 15 years. 

Distraught as he is, he is merely grateful that his brain doesn’t have to focus because he knows the episode by heart. 

Bruce comes back when the credits start rolling, overlapping with the intro of Legend of Korra because apparently, reruns don’t have to air in a logical order. He doesn’t say how his conversation with Barry and Iris went but does tell Dick that: “I called your boss. She told me to tell you to take at least two weeks off, and then call in if you need more time.” 

Dick sort of shrugs and nods at the same time. 

“I think it would be best if you moved back here for a while,” Bruce continues. He sounds careful, probably because Dick had declared a few years ago that he’s a grown adult now and the Manor is now a ‘place to visit’ instead of ‘home’. 

(Dick had once reflected how it’s kind of funny he’s the one who feels the need to declare his independence out loud and sometimes aggressively instead of his brothers, all of whom were abused and/or neglected before coming to live with Bruce - but that’s not something he’s capable of going into now.) 

“I should go pick up a few things,” he says as a way to agree. 

“I can do that,” four different voices say at the same time. 

“I have to go back eventually.” 

“But not yet,” Jason says. “Make a list. One of us will go.” 

“Yeah. Okay, fine.” 

Because Dick is worn _out_. 

A little later, Dick is able to down a few bites of dinner before stumbling into his old room. Alfred keeps his dustless but it’s still cold in that way that rooms that are not regularly occupied anymore are. The few personal items he had left behind are lined up neatly and there are no clothes on the floor or school books spread out on every surface. The sheets are simple, expensive gray ones instead of cartoon-themed or obnoxiously brightly colored. They do, however, smell of Dick’s favorite fabric softener instead of… well… Wally, which is oddly comforting and Dick buries his nose into the pillow. He falls asleep before he even consciously tries, with all his clothes on. 

He doesn’t take the clothes off when he wakes the next morning. In fact, he only gets up to go to the bathroom before disappearing to the relative safety and peace that is his bed. Jason manages to coax some light food into him and Damian sits with him, in silence, during the few hours that Dick is actually awake. Tim has taken it upon himself to inform Wally’s friends and he’s the one who finally convinces Dick to change into clean sweatpants and a soft T-shirt after a second night in the same clothes. Bruce pops in every now and then to offer the comfort that is his arms. 

It goes on like this for three or four days, Dick is not entirely sure. To mourn is exhausting and his dreams are restless but not downright nightmares, so he spends most of his time sleeping because when asleep, he’s not in pain. He sort of forgets nightmares are even a thing. 

That is, until, he wakes up with the sound of Wally calling for him still echoing in his ears. 

He almost falls off the bed in his hurry to get up and shake the nightmare away and either his struggle is loud or Tim’s timing is just an odd coincidence but Dick almost collapses into his older brother as he yanks his door open. 

“Dick?” 

“I can’t do this,” Dick gasps. “I can’t - I can’t _do_ this!” 

“Dick. Dick, hey, you’re…” 

“I’m not okay!” Dick screams before Tim can finish. “I’m not and I never will be again! Fuck, I can’t… _Fuck!_ ”

“What’s going on?” 

“I think he had a nightmare.” 

“Yes! Yes, I did!” Dick snaps at Tim and also Damian and Jason who are there now, too. “I had a nightmare of my frozen boyfriend begging for help and I can’t… I still have nightmares about my parents! It’s been 15 years and I’m still not completely over it, how am I _ever_ going to get over this?”

“You don’t have to think about that yet,” Tim says. “Let’s just focus on getting through these first days. No one expects you to be rational or think about the future right now. We _know_ you’re not okay.” 

“And it’s probably worth shit right now but this time, you have someone with you through all of this,” Jason says. “After what happened to your parents, you were basically alone for the first, what? Few weeks? No shit you still have nightmares, you weren’t given the opportunity to process anything until you were with us. I’m not saying we can magically make this better but at _least_ you are with people who care.” 

Dick shakes his head because it is, in fact, worth shit right now. How could anything be worth shit right now, or ever again? His back suddenly collides with the wall and he slides down, trembling all over.

“Richard.” 

Damian’s voice is level enough to break through the haze that is forming in Dick’s head. He blinks and tears fall on his cheeks, hot and fat. “He died all alone,” he whispers. “He must have been so scared.”

The expression on Damian’s face reads of pure sympathy. Still, he’s not a person who softens the blow by lying so he says: “That may be true,” which causes Jason to actually kick him. “But he died knowing you love him. I am willing to bet that brought him comfort, in the end.” 

“He was happy until his last moments,” Tim says. “You said yes, didn’t you? He was going to come home and marry you. I can just imagine him blabbing off about it until his co-workers were all but willing to stick a sock in his mouth.” 

“Plus, he was super brave. The man didn’t ask us for permission to propose,” Jason adds. 

“He didn’t…” 

“I know, I know, he didn’t have to, but a lesser person would have thought he did. Not everyone thinks it’s okay to surprise the almighty Waynes like that.” 

Dick sniffs. “I just can’t believe he’s gone,” he whispers. “I keep thinking there has to be a mistake. That I would have known… I should have felt something.” With a shaky sigh, he leans his head against the wall. “I mean, I do. Feel something. Like he’s still alive,” he says. “But at the same time, I know, logically, that he’s gone but there’s a corner of my heart that still hopes and it _hurts_.” 

His brothers don’t reply to that because really, what could they say? It’s not like squashing that spark of home would somehow make the loss hurt any less, but to say ‘screw logic’ is not helpful either. They don’t try to coax Dick off the floor but stay with him right there, in the somewhat drafty hallway. It’s a silent confirmation that there will be there, right by Dick’s side, through all of this. 

They are there when Dick eventually takes a shower and comes down for a meal. They are there when Dick has to face Barry and Iris. And Bart and Artemis and everyone who ever loved Wally, which is a lot of people. They hold him when Wally’s boss informs them that they likely will not find the body. They sit by Dick during the memorial service and convince him that he does not have to tough it out and go back to work after only two weeks. 

It’s Tim who says something that makes Dick smile for the first time. Jason’s offhand comment about Bruce’s cooking skills gets a chuckle out of Dick. Damian convinces him to take advantage of the Manor’s gym after about a month and proceeds to prompt Dick to have such a mind-numbing training session that afterward Dick realizes he didn’t think about Wally once during it. Bruce is the one who manages to diminish his guilt about that. 

Two months after the fateful phone call, Dick is surprised to notice that he is taking small but sure steps to recovery, and it is all thanks to his family. 

His family that gives everything but doesn’t demand anything. 

His family that offers comfort but not advice. 

(His family who is there when Dick cries about how something in him just refuses to accept this - and how that something slows down his process of moving on.

His family who is still there when it turns out 'that something' is instinct and that it was right. But that's another, happier, story.)

* * *

_You raise me up so I can stand on mountains_   
_You raise me up to walk on stormy seas_   
_I am strong when I am on your shoulders_   
_You raise me up to more than I can be_

You Raise Me Up - Secret Garden

**Author's Note:**

> *An episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender
> 
> So uh... Apparently, in my head, when Jason is taken in by Bruce who dealt with his trauma by going to therapy instead of becoming a caped crusader, he turns into a potty-mouthed Sokka for some reason. Fun fact, ATLA aired in my country in 2007 so I was a bit too old (17) to catch it then and so I only watched it in my mid-twenties for the first time and again last spring when my wife suggested that we binge it because she had never seen it. I think it shows just how much comfort people need right now that I recently watched the whole damn thing again. I tell you this because I find it funny that people don't like the Great Divide episode because it was on all the time back in the day so people got sick of it - I personally have nothing against the episode, as I have only seen it three times. 
> 
> That was just a light-hearted little fact about myself I thought I might as well share :P 
> 
> STAY SAFE!!


End file.
